Thursday, November 19, 2009

Thankfulness

Well here we are in November, almost Thanksgiving.So much to be thankful for!
I sit here looking back @ the last past six months and sit in aw. In aw of my loving Father. It seems much like a big blur, even though I walked threw every minute of it. So much I have learned, so much I have seen, so much I have experienced. Remembering so very clearly that very first day that I heard "YOU HAVE CANCER", so very clearly "I AM GONNA CARRY YOU THROUGH THIS", and so very clearly "YOU WILL BE DELIVERED". Being diagnosed with cancer makes you take a big look @ things, puts things into perspective really quick, and makes you realize that you truly have no idea what one minute holds from the next. BUT GOD DOES! He has a purpose and plan for ALL things, in ALL things. Ones attitude and faith matters greatly....
I again say I can not imagine going through this alone.....
God has taught me so many things through this, one of them was "HE LOVES US SO MUCH" We are HIS children and He wants to pour out His love on us and we need to come to a place where we let Him. Remembering Him telling me "You are my child, it is my time, my money, and my food. They are just the willing vessels in which I wish to use".
Another is how HE IS MY BANKER! Remembering Him telling me "You aren't going to see me in my bigness until you give it to me fully". Meaning relinquish the worry of the medical bills.
On my birthday July 31st crying in the shower telling Him I want to give it to him, all of it, all of my worries, all of my fears, all of my concerns, EVERYTHING. To come to realize (by my husband) 3wks later that I had not been worrying about it, talking about, or even thinking about it . Thanking Him for helping me overcome this "worrying of finances" that I have walked in for years. Then hearing on the 4th week( a month later), @ M.D.A. that my medical bills were gonna be paid 100%!!!!! Yeah, HE IS MY BANKER!!!!!
Thinking of all the conversations I have had with people @ M.D.Anderson and outside of it, thinking of how many people have told me that "You are so inspiring", "What an inspiration you are".
All my desire was and has been is that may my God be glorified in it all, may He be seen in it all, and how I walk it out, may it be pleasing to Him. That has been my hearts desire!
I am an overcomer, in soooo many ways! Praise God!!!!! By His grace and mercy....
This week finding out Clear CLEAR Clear. No cancer & heart is fine! Woooohoooo.
I thank you all for showering me with love in so many ways. I thank you all for showering my family with love as well.
My husband has been sooo wonderful threw this. Chris, I love you sooooooo much and feel blessed to have you as my best friend and partner for life! Watching you step up to the plate while I was away being Husband/Father/caretaker/provider/cook, and loving me when I was sick and moody. I love you I love you I love you....
My kiddos Gage,Kolbi,Bailey, and Shetharoonie, thank you for dealing with me and all of my transitions. For the words of encouragement,for being my cheerleaders,for helping with the house,and for loving me. I can't express how blessed I am to have such amazing kids! How special our family is. Special and unique! All hand picked and placed together by Our amazing Heavenly Father! I love yall sooooo much.
My mom for being here threw sooo much of my voyage! Gosh pretty much every step of the way....... Don't you love how God heals,how God restores! All I can say is wooooow and praise God! Thank you thank you and I love you so much....
I could go on and on with "Thank you's" to so many people. People that have walked this out with me consistently! I am chuckling, cause if I don't a river will flow from my eyes.
Something so tragic has brought so many blessings....
We all have so much to be thankful for. I pray that as Thanksgiving comes, we don't just get swooped up with Christmas shopping and the hussel and bussel that we can so easily get swallowed in. But that we stop and pause, thinking back to January and then through the year of all of the things we have gone through. Think of all the blessings that have been given, and give Him praise for it! How He provides,how He heals,how He restores, how He loves, how He carries us, how He comforts us, how He listens, and how He answers.
I love how HE loves us!
So now the next faze... I start radiation the Monday after Thanksgiving. I will be in Houston Mon.- Friday and come home for the weekend for 3 &1/2 wks. Please keep my family and I in prayer as this will be a really big adjustment for us that we have not experienced.
I thank yall again for all the prayers, I feel like I have a army of prayer worries that have been walking with me in this the entire time. What an amazing feeling it is....
Much love sent to all !