Thankfulness

Well here we are in November, almost Thanksgiving.So much to be thankful for!
I sit here looking back @ the last past six months and sit in aw. In aw of my loving Father. It seems much like a big blur, even though I walked threw every minute of it. So much I have learned, so much I have seen, so much I have experienced. Remembering so very clearly that very first day that I heard "YOU HAVE CANCER", so very clearly "I AM GONNA CARRY YOU THROUGH THIS", and so very clearly "YOU WILL BE DELIVERED". Being diagnosed with cancer makes you take a big look @ things, puts things into perspective really quick, and makes you realize that you truly have no idea what one minute holds from the next. BUT GOD DOES! He has a purpose and plan for ALL things, in ALL things. Ones attitude and faith matters greatly....
I again say I can not imagine going through this alone.....
God has taught me so many things through this, one of them was "HE LOVES US SO MUCH" We are HIS children and He wants to pour out His love on us and we need to come to a place where we let Him. Remembering Him telling me "You are my child, it is my time, my money, and my food. They are just the willing vessels in which I wish to use".
Another is how HE IS MY BANKER! Remembering Him telling me "You aren't going to see me in my bigness until you give it to me fully". Meaning relinquish the worry of the medical bills.
On my birthday July 31st crying in the shower telling Him I want to give it to him, all of it, all of my worries, all of my fears, all of my concerns, EVERYTHING. To come to realize (by my husband) 3wks later that I had not been worrying about it, talking about, or even thinking about it . Thanking Him for helping me overcome this "worrying of finances" that I have walked in for years. Then hearing on the 4th week( a month later), @ M.D.A. that my medical bills were gonna be paid 100%!!!!! Yeah, HE IS MY BANKER!!!!!
Thinking of all the conversations I have had with people @ M.D.Anderson and outside of it, thinking of how many people have told me that "You are so inspiring", "What an inspiration you are".
All my desire was and has been is that may my God be glorified in it all, may He be seen in it all, and how I walk it out, may it be pleasing to Him. That has been my hearts desire!
I am an overcomer, in soooo many ways! Praise God!!!!! By His grace and mercy....
This week finding out Clear CLEAR Clear. No cancer & heart is fine! Woooohoooo.
I thank you all for showering me with love in so many ways. I thank you all for showering my family with love as well.
My husband has been sooo wonderful threw this. Chris, I love you sooooooo much and feel blessed to have you as my best friend and partner for life! Watching you step up to the plate while I was away being Husband/Father/caretaker/provider/cook, and loving me when I was sick and moody. I love you I love you I love you....
My kiddos Gage,Kolbi,Bailey, and Shetharoonie, thank you for dealing with me and all of my transitions. For the words of encouragement,for being my cheerleaders,for helping with the house,and for loving me. I can't express how blessed I am to have such amazing kids! How special our family is. Special and unique! All hand picked and placed together by Our amazing Heavenly Father! I love yall sooooo much.
My mom for being here threw sooo much of my voyage! Gosh pretty much every step of the way....... Don't you love how God heals,how God restores! All I can say is wooooow and praise God! Thank you thank you and I love you so much....
I could go on and on with "Thank you's" to so many people. People that have walked this out with me consistently! I am chuckling, cause if I don't a river will flow from my eyes.
Something so tragic has brought so many blessings....
We all have so much to be thankful for. I pray that as Thanksgiving comes, we don't just get swooped up with Christmas shopping and the hussel and bussel that we can so easily get swallowed in. But that we stop and pause, thinking back to January and then through the year of all of the things we have gone through. Think of all the blessings that have been given, and give Him praise for it! How He provides,how He heals,how He restores, how He loves, how He carries us, how He comforts us, how He listens, and how He answers.
I love how HE loves us!
So now the next faze... I start radiation the Monday after Thanksgiving. I will be in Houston Mon.- Friday and come home for the weekend for 3 &1/2 wks. Please keep my family and I in prayer as this will be a really big adjustment for us that we have not experienced.
I thank yall again for all the prayers, I feel like I have a army of prayer worries that have been walking with me in this the entire time. What an amazing feeling it is....
Much love sent to all !

Update

I can not believe I am here! Round 12, the grand bang will be here next week! I am overwhelmed with joy! I go meet with the radiologist tomorrow afternoon, which is good. I can have some questions answered.
The last few treatments have been a bit different, with getting sick before, during, and after treatment. Along with HOT FLASHES!!!!!!! Oh my goodness, let me tell ya how fun that is! One of the lovely side effects of chemo! ARRRRRRRRG! Glad this wasn't happening the entire time!
Well, as some know already, my medical bills have been PAID IN FULL! I am in aw of God!
I don't have to much to say today, just ask that you would look around you to see where God is @ work. Look and see what He is doing around you, and wanting to do in and through you .Join Him!!!! Give Him praise were He so deserves.
Talk to you soooooooooon! Many blessings sent to you all.

Update from Kristi - September 20th

Hello everyone, I hope all have been doing well and have had a great weekend.

This upcoming week will be round 9. The schedule this week is Tuesday I have some more testing to do, then on Wednesday I meet with the Dr. for results and then chemo.
I know some have been asking "How much longer?" and "What is the rest of the plan?"
As far as I know right now, I will have three more treatments after this one. Last chemo treatment is scheduled for the first week in November. After that I will get a 3 wk break, which will bring us to Thanksgiving I think, then I will have to stay in Houston for 3 & 1/2 weeks to do radiation treatments daily. I am planning on coming home on the weekends though, and will admit that I am gonna miss my family tremendously. I know God has a plan in this , and I am so blessed that my cousin Tricia and her family have opened up there home to me through out this entire time. I know so many people have to stay in hotels and such, so it really has been a HUGE blessing. I am hoping that this will be all said and done by Christmas, and that the New Year will start off with a clean bill of health.

The cards that are sent to me are so uplifting and encouraging, I have them all hung up in my living room as a constant reminder of the love, prayers, and support system that my family and I have.The messages that are sent through facebook and email are so moving I can not express the gratitude that I feel , words just do not seem to be enough or do justice. I smile, tear up, fall to my knees and pray that as I have been so richly blessed through my family and friendships that you would be blessed in return. This might sound kinda corny, but, i knew I was import and mattered to some people, but never realized the impact that you could have on people (past and present) in such a big way. A "thank you" goes out to yall who have shared those "moments" with me. It has opened my eyes to a new level of how every minute and moment counts, you touch peoples lives when you don't even realize you are. God has done soooo much for my family in this season that we have been in, HIS hand has/is,and will continue to be seen. I will continue to give Him praise through this, for He is sooooo worthy of it, I am humbled by His love for us.

Hello lovely friends and family!
I am sorry I have not written in a while, after I wrote the last one, some things had changed. My chemo treatment had gotten postponed again due to my white blood count. I had to receive a shot on that Thurs., and another on that Friday to end up going back to Houston on Monday for chemo.
So treatments were set back a week. I went back up this Tues. Aug.25th to get blood work done, and to see the Dr. . We are going to do the shot each time after now to help my white count stay up. We have also decided to do radiation after the chemo is done (3 wks after), and it will last 3 1/2 wks long ( I will be able to come home on the weekends). Honestly , that is not music to my ears( being away from my family so long and especially around the holidays), but I know this is going to bump up the % of it not coming back.
So I finished my 7th round of chemo yesterday (Wed.26th). My Dr. has told me I have antisipritory disorder, it is the naseu and angziety that comes before treatment. I thought it was a joke, but he said it's in the text books. You can't controle it, it's your brain. This time before was the worst, as I did sence each time a little bit more and more. This time a actually was getting sick. So My Dr. prescribed me some meds to take prior to, gosh did that help! THANK YOU LORD!!!!! I think one of the worst things is freaking out about something that is not even happening yet, that you know isn't that horrible, telling yourself "what in the world are you doing and why are you doing it", praying that tis would go away and speaking to your subconscience and no change. TOTALLY out of your controle.
I am just so thankful that there is something that will give me some relief! You just have no idea....
So I will be home today, I have been missing my family a bunch this time. Trying not to worry about them being that this was all of there first week of school, but feeling very thankful that I was able to be there for there first day. Thankful that people helped out with meals for them.

I am so proud to say that God has provided in such big ways lately. We are finished paying off our San Marcos hospital bills ! Thank you Lord and for all the support from people out here, some that I have never meet before. I pray that God's blessings will fall upon you in just the perfect way and just the perfect timing that you have no doubt where it is coming from "Your heavenly Father". My hope and prayer was that I wouldn't receive one of M.D.Anderson bill until l paid off the ones near my home. THAT HAS BEEN THE CASE!
I was called down to the billing office yesterday @ M.D.Anderson and asked them when should I expect one from them, and they said they don't understand why i haven't. They said you usually start getting them a month after . O.K. guys and gals, I started in May! Heeeeeeeeeeeeello! Looks like Papa has answered my prayers once again. lol

Prayer request: I am prating now that when my husband sends our tax papers to them this week that we will and would be covered for more then 50% if not 100%, That would be amazing, and I know God could do this He has already done so many huge things.
Please stand with me in prayer as we continue to walk this out, as I lay this in my Papa's hands, not piece by piece, but everything, all of it.
I thank you all for the love, prayers,and support that my family and I have been given, felt, and received. I thank God so very much for you.
TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

**Praise Report**
God has been doing great things this summer in my family.
** Bailey ( My cute, wonderful and unique Bailey Bug who is 11 now and starting Jr. High this year) Has given his life to Christ and followed through in baptism. Praise you Father, your ways, your timing, and not our own,
** Kolbi Lynn ( My beautiful, outgoing, 14yr.old Kokobean, who loves her sports!) Has went on a mission trip, has heard her Father's voice, Is on her 2nd Bible study, and wants to walk the walk she has already committed to.
** Gage (My handsome SENIOR the Gagester! Agggggggg I can't believe I'm saying that already) Who has went to serve @ a Christian camp for 3weeks this summer, who is earnestly seeking God in so many ways, including his future disitions, and who is also preparing to walk out his disition of baptism to show the commitment he has and is making
too. To walk the walk not just talk the talk!
** Sheth( Ahh little Shetharooni, who is starting kinder this year and just turned 6, the one with spunk and ditermination). We sit and wait to see what great things are ahead for him, He sits and watches his siblings oh so carefully and loves them soooo. He sits and prays for his momma every night and says he knows Jesus will heal her, and also prays that his teacher will have Jesus in her heart. I see the work already @ hand.

What satin may come to try to steal, kill, or destroy, GOD WORKS OUT FOR HIS GOOD!! FOR HIS GLORY!!!! Amen! Come on, give me a AMEN!!!!

Today I leave to head back to Houston. ROUND 6! Half way done, and I can't believe it! Have my eyes set on October...

My mind has been very busy these days with trying to understand the things I am being taught. Patients, giving things up (not in my timing or my control), appreciating the little things (the details/thought behind things/the heart), seeing how God is showing His love to me, by getting roses delivered, bills getting paid one @ a time,kids school supplies being paid for. Realizing that this is my body, even though it may have issues, it is the one that HE has chosen for me! My journey that He has called me to walk out. Seeing Him as my PROVIDER, not just saying it or knowing it, but claiming it! He is who He says He is and walking in faith that He will do what He says He can do! I have been trying to understand and work things out with my human mind, and that is not how my Papa works at all.

I am so very blessed by the family and friends that are placed in my life. My birthday was such a special one! I had know idea that my lovely friends were going to come kidnap me, blindfold me, and take me away to a surprise party where my handsome husband and spectacular friends would be! It was such a wonderful evening, and I definitely felt the love.
Today I am rejoicing in being half way done! Part of this feels like it is going by soooo fast and the other part feels , well, not so much! ha

School starting for the kids is right around the corner on the 24th, all enrolled and getting excited. The funny reality of Sheth starting Kinder, and Gage graduating High school all in the same year is quite amusing! As well as the shock of Gage turning 17 yesterday is putting plenty of things in a new light. Where have all the years gone? The time that we have with our kiddos seem to fly by so very fast.We hope and pray that we are doing all we can do to prepare them emotionally and spiritually . I love them sooo very much! Each one so special and unique.
I am a very proud mom , and look forward to seeing what this year is gonna hold for all of them, but especially Mr. Senior, and pray it is the best year ever. Kolbi is all excited about getting into sports again, as Bailey bug is starting his 1st year of Jr.High ! And Sheth, well he told me "I am kinda nervous about starting cause there will be a bunch of people there ." I on the other hand really have no worries about Mr.Social butterfly! lol

Well, I hope everyone is having a wonderful summer and a blessed week. Much love sent.

Yesterday was a long, long, veeeery long day! It was very exhausting, so at the end of the day I was zonked! I am very happy to say that the PET scan came back as clear. I have two print outs(of the PET scans) one of before(in May) and one from yesterday which is truly wowing to see side by side.
There was a spot which was around my spine that he know thinks could have been part of the cancer because it is gone. I know some people are wondering "Does this mean no more chemo"? Unfortunately not, I am sad to say! Still have to continue on !
To be honest, yesterday was like a bitter sweet to me, I know that sounds crazy. After we talked about the test results, we talked about radiation afterward. He explained that it is something he is gonna want me to see a radiologist about. He told me that he has some patients that are young that are having relapses of lymphoma, and when it comes back it comes back with a vengeance. He said what he is seeing is very sad (with those patients), but with radiation it brings your percentage of not coming back higher. He(Dr.Fowler) said that he is probl. gonna bring my case up for review @ a board meeting with lymphoma Dr.'s and radiologist.
The other side is radiation has it's own side effects such as heart attacks, breast cancer, etc. in years to come. So I wasn't running out of the building screaming unfortunately!
More on information shock or another reality of how serious this is, and again how it is totally out of our control. I am soooo very thankful that I am clear, and the Dr. is very happy with how fast this has cleared up. Just very emotional going through it, the thought of me already having the cervical cancer a few years ago, now this , and the possibilities of something in the future doesn't sound appealing. That is me being a human and my raw feelings. I know none of us know what can happen tomorrow nor 10 - 20 years from now, but when you have to hear it or think about it, it's kind of shocking.Again I have to give all of me, to my Papa! Of course I prefer side effects rather then a beast coming back, that is a no brainer, just very emotional. Ya know! I'll be 35 this month and wish for a couple of days I could make it all go away, go to "never never land" lol that would be sweeeet! If anyone has transportation there, would you please consider taking me! Haha
I thank all of yall for all the prayers and for walking with me in this, but the journey is not finished yet. So please continue to be in prayer with me, not just for me but my family as well. Love all of you bunches, and pray that all have a blessed week.
Round 5 is today!
May our Father get all the praise in this....... Our great physician and healer .

Catching everyone up to speed. Today is Monday the 21st, and Saturday made a week of the shaved head! Yes, I am sporting the bald look! To hot for a wig or a hat for that matter, and praise God that he has given my a decent one! (head that is :O) )
Today was suppose to be the PET scan, but got there and they forgot to remind me not to eat for 6 hrs before. So It is rescheduled for tomorrow @ 8:00am and results should also be tomorrow.
It has been a good two weeks, just a bit tired. Still trying to hand over the money situation to God and leave it there. To be honest it is my biggest struggle seeing how it just increases each time by the thousands. It's hard to grasp or swallow when you can predict the ballpark figure that this will end up in. I drive down the road in thought, and my mom asks "what are you thinking about". I respond "thinking about not thinking about the bills", and continued saying "If they cross your mind, they stay there for a minute and then worry sets in again, which then makes you frustrated cause your not suppose to be worrying @ all since you placed @ the foot of the cross". I am trying to leave them there, I am trying to leave a bunch of things there and not worry about them. I know it does no good, I know my life is way more valuable and doesn't have a price value on it. More precious then silver, more costly then Gold. I know it's just money, just didn't plan "I didn't plan" for us to be in debt! Did not want that to happen! Just goes to show you how things aren't really in our control @ all. That is my prayer request, that I can totally be free of the worry. That it would not have any hold on me. It is my reality, but I do not need to be imprisoned by it.
I look @ my lovely kiddos, and see how they are growing from this. I see how blessed I am to have such a bunch of beautiful, helpful, and loving kids along with an amazing husband.
No none of us perfect, but all hand chosen and placed together by God and His great hand. Which is far more important to me then any bill of any amount.
My youngest just turned 6 last Friday, which made Chris and I feel wowed! Which then lead to the thought of :Our oldest is graduating this year and our youngest is starting school ! That is a crazy thought... Can't imagine all that this year is going to hold/bring.
I am resting in the comfort of my Papa's arms. I find myself wandering some times, look back and see Him still standing there waiting for me . I am thankful to have such a loving Father that is always there. Sometimes walking besides us, sometimes running to catch us, and other times carrying us! I love how He loves me.....
Thank you for the prayers and ask for them to continue.